I belong to one of the most coveted demographics in the world: a sports-loving American who has never been able to latch on to the world-dominating sport of soccer. We sit stateside, an untapped media market of nearly 300 million people up for viewership grabs, and remain lackadaisical. And there is ample reason for me, personally, to be a fan. A friend of mine earned a scholarship to play soccer at the University of Wisconsin. Several of my closest pals are diehard soccer loyalists, following not only the World Cup but their chosen English teams of Manchester United and Liverpool. I hail from Kalamazoo, Michigan, home of current US women's phenom, Lindsay Tarpley, and I attended a soccer powerhouse at Hackett Catholic Central High School (and the "Lady Irish" are tearing through the state tournament as we speak, so good luck, ladies!). So, why has the game struggled to keep my attention?
The most obvious reasons are cultural. Soccer simply doesn't follow patterns that Americans are accustomed to. I'm used to four periods of play and rampant commercial breaks. Where's the suspense in soccer? Nothing can top a do-or-die fourth and inches play on the goal line interrupted by a commercial break where Betty White gets roughed up in the dirt. Besides, commercial breaks give me time to get more beer and threaten the television set with barrages of empty cans if things don't go as I want them to. But people want to watch games with passionate individuals such as myself -- it simply makes the game more enjoyable. As one friend noted after watching a game with me, "I could be wrong but if I was a betting man I'd say we got kicked out of the bar because you were wearing tear-away pants and flashing your lucky jock strap from high school after every touchdown."
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