Purge! Purge! Purge!

This weekend, I enlisted my most stylish friend, Amanda, to help me Stacy & Clinton my closet. My instructions for Amanda were simple: Be ruthless and purge my wardrobe of any outdated, ill-fitting or just plain ugly sartorial sins. The fact was, I owned button-downs I hadn't worn for six years (when I last worked in a business-casual office that demanded something other than yoga pants and Hello Kitty slippers), as well as mini skirts I used to tart around in during my early 20s but would truthfully work better as Swiffer pads today.

Oh, did we purge. We purged like we haven't purged since our sorority days, when breakfast was a Snackwells vanilla crème sandwich cookie, lunch/dinner was peanut butter frozen yogurt topped with Golden Grahams and dessert was four Long Island iced Teas. GONE! was the lilac ribbed sweater with silver neck buckle that I once loved for how it made my small Bs look more like small Cs. GONE! were my brown plaid pants that I used to consider so hip and funky but now look like something my grandpa's gold buddies might rock on the front nine (Morty, however, would never be caught dead in them -- he prefers more of a Mafioso look, complete with black mock turtle neck, black blazer and camel slacks.) GONE! was the black long-sleeved top from Express circa 2003 with black ribbons cross-crossing its open back in a slightly fetishy manner.

More...