I didn't talk about my diabetes at all during the years I danced with the New York City Ballet. A ballerina is an athlete and psychologically I needed my directors and co-workers to perceive me as healthy. Most importantly, I needed my body to be in optimal working order. As a person with diabetes that meant I needed to keep my blood sugar levels as close to normal as possible with insulin injections. Exercise increases the effectiveness of insulin, and dangerous low blood sugars could result, which they did. Experiencing a low blood sugar episode is not only scary as your body shakes and you lose focus, but it can be extremely dangerous with the risk of many side effects including the possible loss of consciousness. Thankfully this never happened to me.
My directors at that time, Peter Martins and Jerome Robbins, knew I had been diagnosed with diabetes, but I did not share any information about my disease or the constant efforts it took to control it. And I wanted it that way! Every dancer had some complaint, some obstacle that might have been affecting their performance. My challenge was to show that I was the same dancer I had been before my diagnosis.
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