I see it every day. We all hold grudges against other people who we feel have hurt or offended us in some way or another. We even hold these grudges for people who aren't alive anymore. We do this with the false idea that somehow we are making them suffer by being hurt and angry with them. Now, there is nothing wrong with being angry with someone, but it is how we express this anger that makes all the difference in us and our relationships . What is a grudge, anyway? It is harboring ill feelings toward another in the need to settle a score.
Let's try a little experiment. Think of someone in your life right now (maybe not the most extreme person) whom you are absolutely holding a grudge against right now. There is no way you are willing to forgive this person right now for his or her actions. Picture that person and hold onto that unwillingness to forgive. Now, just observe what emotions are there: anger, resentment, sadness? Also notice how you are holding your body right now: is it tense anywhere or feeling heavy? Now bring awareness to your thoughts: are they hateful and spiteful thoughts?
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