As a young girl, I the events of my childhood created a perception of reality that became part of my primary belief system growing up. The reality is that you can't count on anyone really but yourself, and that if you are in a position of "needing" someone, you'll get hurt or disappointed in the end. This way of thinking has likely been a driver in my career, as I was relentless in my pursuit to become independent and okay "on my own."
My mantra was to always have a back up plan in case the first plan or person you are counting on falls through. In other areas of my life however, this has caused me to be closed in relationships and extremely afraid to commit or be in the position of needing someone. Whatever it was, whether it was a job, a friend or the budding of a potential relationship, my attitude was if it wasn't working. Or if I was being mistreated, I could easily get up and walk away. Tossing something out was my method of staying in control, albeit a false sense of control that was really rooted in fear and insecurity.
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