Do Siblings Help Each Other When Parents Divorce?

Since Monday night's announcement that Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver have separated, there has been much speculation about how the couple's split will affect their four kids. The pair have revealed few details--"we are continuing to parent our four children together. They are the light and the center of both of our lives," they said in a joint statement--and except for a Tweet Tuesday from their 17-year-old son, Patrick, the kids have also been quiet. Still, the four children, ranging in age from 13 to 21, will surely have a lot to deal with, including a new living arrangement (Shriver reportedly moved out of the couple's Brentwood home a few weeks ago). So what will the next few days, weeks, and months have in store for ths kids? While we may not know for a while, we can be sure that their relationships with each other will undergo significant changes.

Indeed, while there is always plenty of talk about "his divorce" and "her divorce," and even more about how parents do and don't get along with each other after the breakup, there isn't much said about the children's relationship with each other when parents divorce and remarry. My interest in the young people grew as I interviewed 131 children--a number that included all the siblings in a family--every five years, for 25 years after their parents' breakups, as part of the study that eventually became the landmark 2001 book, The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce. Divorced parents would be very startled if they overheard what their children were saying. I was taken aback by the passion with which so many spoke of their siblings. "My brother saved my life" said one 16-year-old girl. "My sister and I are a family," her 14-year-old brother confided. "We rescue each other!"

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